No One Way!

No One Way!

Here I Am - Odie's Birth at OneTrueMedia.com

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Saweeeet deal!

I know what some people think about stay at home moms. I know because I've heard it a million times (okay, maybe not a million but you know what I mean). Wow, what a saweeeet (why doesn't spell check like this spelling of sweet?) deal. Stay in your p.j.'s until you "feel" like getting dressed. Hang out on the couch, watch some t.v., eat and drink whatever, whenever. Take walks, go fun places, watch your amazing kids blossom. Work out whenever (just strap those kiddos in a stroller and GO!), the house should be perfectly clean - I mean, since I'm home all day I should have plenty of time to get all the dishes, laundry, vacuuming, sweeping, folding, pick up the toys, etc. And, on top of that my teeth should always be brushed, make-up on, clothes (or p.j.'s) fresh, eyebrows plucked, hair done...
NOPE. NADA. NONE OF THE ABOVE.
Here's a typical day for me. I know I'm preaching to the choir but just humor me.

4:50 AM - alarm goes off for Aaron to get up and go to work. I'm already awake, nursing Odie. Trying to keep him quiet so Aaron could sleep until his alarm and so that G and B aren't woken up prematurely. Odie usually gets up with Aaron. They wave goodbye as I snuggle back under the covers to sleep until Aaron wakes me when he's leaving. I put in my ear plugs because my kids are LOUD. G and B wake up soon after Aaron goes downstairs.
I get the best sleep of my night until 6:00 AM - I have the bed to myself. I fling my legs across the whole width of the bed. I pull the covers over my ears. I smash my face into my pillow and I sleep. Deep sleep. No one to listen for. No one demanding milk.
I wander downstairs and pour myself my first cup of coffee. I love my coffee. I sit down on the couch. Gavin and Brynn have already asked me 5 times where we are going today or who is coming over today. Odie has been crying since he saw me come down. He follows me to the couch and signs milk...or just yells until I pick him up and give him what he wants. Aaron is leaving for the day. The kids wave at the window. While they are at it they smear their faces and dirty b'fast hands all over it. No wonder my windows look so terrible. And guess what? They never get cleaned. I never have time. G and B scream at each other, "No I waved first." "No, I did." Then they scream at me about who is teasing who. I cringe. I just want to go back to bed.
Before 8 AM I try to have the dishwasher unloaded and loaded and running. I have a load of laundry going. I attempt to wipe down the table and maybe sweep under it if I can. But most of the time I can't because Odie or Gavin or Brynn is yelling at me or at each other. We do not turn on the t.v. I do not believe in it. Okay, I do sometimes but only when I'm desperate. Like when company is coming and I might die of embarrassment with the way the house looks if I don't do something about it.
By 8 the kids have had it. They are begging to go outside. I say fine and we head out. One of them has to run back in within 5 minutes to go to the bathroom. They track dirt all over the house. Not necessarily from their feet - sometimes from their bodies or hair. Seriously. Then Odie needs his diaper changed. I beg the kids to please stay in the yard while I run in. I can do it in 30 seconds (unless it's messy). Within those 30 seconds they both disappear. I find them in the neighbors garage talking to her son-in-law who is a drug and alcohol addict. They love this guy. Gavin loves everybody. I drag them back into OUR yard. I'm mad. Can't they just do what I ask one time? I guess I'm asking too much. We "play" for the next 3 hours. "Play" meaning they fight, scream, pester, beat each other up, beg me for food, beg me to go to the neighbors yard, beg me to get something out of the garage, or turn on the sprinklers. And can I get them some food. How about an apple, scone, grapes, pretzels, popsicle, sandwich, pad thai, chili with fritos? Seriously. I'm exhausted by lunch. I make their meals, pleading that they stay out of the kitchen so my elbows don't hit their heads...yes, Gavin is the perfect height for that. I'm constantly bonking him in the head. He's already losing his two front teeth prematurely due to an unfortunate interaction with the coffee table. Plus I just want some space. Again, too much to ask.
If I'm lucky, Odie will take a nice long nap after lunch. I realize I forgot to brush my teeth and hair that morning. I attempt it. Gavin and Brynn follow me into the bathroom because apparently I'm not allowed in there alone. They fight some more. Gavin uses the toilet and uses half the roll of toilet paper. The toilet almost clogs. A tree has been wasted. I ask him if I haven't told him 1,000 times not to do that. He says he knows. Really? Then why?
Most of the time I don't get the errands I need to do done. Or I end up missing a playdate I really wanted to go to (like one last week). Someone ends up - sick, sleeping, cranky-pants. Sometimes I'm just too tired. Sometimes I don't have anything to wear or am exhausted about the thought of putting myself together enough to go out.
By the time Aaron gets home I am having visions of hopping in the car and going somewhere...anywhere. I just want to get out, away from the noise and demands. But, I don't. I stay and cook dinner. When the weather is nice I sometimes get some peace and quiet if Aaron can take them outside. I cook in my messy kitchen. I never got around to cleaning the counters and there are a million dishes all over the place from lunch and the countless snacks/drinks given throughout the day. I do my best. At dinner they complain. They don't like what's for dinner unless it's pad thai or chili. Brynn doesn't like anything but breakfast foods so she never eats dinner. I eat as fast as I can so I can get up and start unloading the dishwasher so I can load it up again. The kids take forever to finish. Usually they hardly eat anything. We make an agreement-If they get down from the table they are done. No more food tonight...even when they cry for food in a half hour. They say okay and are off. I try to clean. By now my feet hurt and I just want to sit down. Maybe read a nice book or catch up on one of my shows. Nope, I keep busy cleaning but never seem to get anything done. I'm one of the messiest people in the house. I can't do anything without making a mess. I attribute it to the fact that I'm always in such a hurry I can't help but make a mess. I don't know...it frustrates me.
Then it's time for p.j.'s. They are usually pretty good about getting them on. Usually. Teeth get brushed. Odie screams bloody murder. I'm surprised the neighbors haven't called CPS yet. Gavin and Brynn understand now how important it is. But they still like to rub Aaron's face while he does it. Aaron loves that...
Then they are hungry. "I'm sorry, the kitchen is closed. You have another chance tomorrow to eat your dinner so that you aren't hungry." The screaming and crying begins. Enough. Read books and to bed. Usually. Sometimes, like tonight, both boys cried and cried and cried. 8:00 and they are asleep. I'm ready to sit down and do nothing. Usually I do. Aaron can typically keep going for an hour or so. I can't.
I never get to work out anymore. I never get to shop. I rarely get my hair done. I shower at night and my hair looks funny in the morning. I eat too much, too. I have become the frumpy stay at home I never wanted to be. But, there is a silver lining to all of this - my kids are happy. Aaron and I love each other. The kids don't have to go to daycare. I have know that I'll always be here for them when they come home from school and need to talk. If they are sick, I will be here to take care of them. I get to watch so many good things happen during the day that make it all worth while. I'm trying my hardest to let them be kids and only to expect age appropriate things from them. For instance - Odie screams all of the time. But he also doesn't have any other real way to communicate. His only words are mama, dada, poo poo, kitty (and doggy but they all sound the same), and he is just starting to say swing and sing (these two sound the same too). He has to stand up for himself somehow when a toy is taken from him. I know he'll outgrow it so I don't freak out about it. I also know that someday I'll sleep through the night again. It is hard to remember that sometimes when Odie is still up 2 to 3 times a night to nurse. I wouldn't trade what I do for a job that pays a million a year...well, unless Aaron wanted to stay home which I'm sure he would love. But you get my point. I am so thankful for all of our blessings. Family is what it is all about and I am lucky that Aaron and I both feel the same about it. Thank you Aaron!
So, I'm off to wash diapers and hang them out in the sun to dry. Another day, another diaper! And I love it...

What does a SAHM do all day?

This is good...enjoy!


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Formula vs. Breast

The above shirts can be found at http://www.madebymomma.spreadshirt.com/

Okay so here's the thing...I am so tired of seeing t.v. shows with babies being bottle fed and hearing people make comments like, "I can't breastfeed because...my breasts are too small, my breasts are spaced too far apart, I don't make enough milk, my baby is allergic to it, my baby isn't gaining enough weight, my baby prefers formula, etc." For those of you that know me, I have *tiny* breasts and I have successfully breastfed all 3 of my children without ever an ounce of formula. Size doesn't matter. I also want to point out that breastfeeding isn't easy and I struggled shortly for all 3 of my children. With Gavin I struggled for 2 months before I went into my OB's office where I was told to stop breastfeeding, that I had done enough. I burst into tears because that's not what I wanted to hear, I wanted support. Instead of support she said, "why are you crying? I think you have post-partum depression." (this is one of the *many* reasons I do not use OB's for my maternity care). Luckily I didn't stop breastfeeding. I went to a lactation consultant who figured out the problem, which was thrush for Gavin and a terrible yeast infection in my milk ducts (thanks to a huge dose of Penicillin during labor which probably wasn't even necessary). After treatment we successfully breastfed for 10 more months! I used a lactation consultant with Brynn and Odie also. A breastfeeding woman needs lots of support, encouragement and help. After all, it takes a village to raise a child. We can't always do it on our own. It's okay to ask for help. It is also okay for a woman to accept help. It is okay for an experienced breastfeeder to offer her help and guidance even though she isn't medically trained. It is okay for a healthy lactating woman to feed another woman's baby if need be.

The World Health Organization says, "Even though it is a natural act, breastfeeding is also a learned behaviour. Virtually all mothers can breastfeed provided they have accurate information, and support within their families and communities and from the health care system. They should also have access to skilled practical help from, for example, trained health care workers, lay and peer counselors, and certified lactation consultants who can help build mothers confidence, improve feeding technique, and prevent or solve breastfeeding problems." (World Health Organization, Fifty-Fifth World Health Assembly, April 2002, paragraph 11).

Women are very, very defensive about the use of formula so I just want to say that I realize that everyone can make their own choices and that everyone's situations are different. I try not to judge BUT I can't stand the excuses. It makes me sad that some women do not breastfeed because they are embarrassed. Some are even embarrassed to breastfeed in front of their husbands or in church. Hey, Jesus was breastfed. Why do we shun this normal, natural part of life? I feel that as a society we need to support women more. Our bodies do magnificent things and we constantly shut ourselves down saying that our bodies don't work the way they were designed to work. Breasts wouldn't make milk if they weren't supposed to feed our babies. Some woman and doctors find comfort in being able to measure how much their babies are eating which you can't do with breatmilk unless you pump. We need to learn to trust that our bodies can almost always do what is asked of them. The more you feed the more milk you will make. Scheduled feedings are bogus. You must feed on demand. I feed my newborns almost around the clock when they are very little...yes, sometimes every 20 minutes or less. They are not spoiled, they are doing what nature intended and finding comfort where it is best given - at the breast. And, no baby needs supplemental formula in the first days of life. Milk doesn't come in for 3-5 days after birth and this is NORMAL. A baby will not starve (mine didn't) and they get everything they need by suckling at the breast even if there isn't milk flowing. There is no reason to give a baby formula in the hospital or at home when waiting for milk to come in. In fact it will hurt the chances of baby and mother being successful!

Please check out http://www.drmomma.org/2009/080101-reasons-to-breastfeed-your-child.html for a list of 101 reasons to breastfeed.

Also, I think it is important that everyone think about formula for a minute. What is formula really? Formula is big business. The sale of formula is making someone VERY rich. They aren't thinking about the health of our children. Rather they are thinking about their pocketbooks. It's absolutely sick to me and it is the reason I do not support formula samples being given out to pregnant and new mothers. Formula companies have it all figured out - give out samples at the OB's offices and at the hospital. Get their names known. Encourage hospitals to use their formula and give these little gift packages to their patients. Even Motherhood Maternity (a maternity clothes store) offers free formula samples to pregnant mamas. When I was pregnant with Odie and I was purchasing something from them I was asked if I would like to receive these samples. When I told that gal that I didn't and I was upset that they were offering formula she promptly responded that her friend couldn't breastfeed so thank goodness for formula....

Check out: http://www.drmomma.org/2010/06/free-formula-samples-never-save-day.html

for more on how formula samples never help women breastfeed.

The World Health Organization recommends the following:

"The vast majority of mothers can and should breastfeed, just as the vast majority of infants can and should be breastfed. Under only exceptional circumstances can a mother's milk be considered unsuitable for her infant. For those few health situations where infants cannot, or should not be breastfed the choice of the best alternative - expressed breastmilk from the infants own mother. Breastmilk from a healthy wet nurse or a human milk bank or a breastmilk substitute fed with a cup, which is a safer method than a feeding bottle and teat - depends on individual circumstances." (Worth Health Organization, Fifty-Fifth World Health Assembly, April 2002, paragraph 18). Aaron and I have talked before about what we should do if I was to be unable to feed one of our children due to illness or death. What we decided is that Aaron is to refuse formula but rather seek out a lactating woman to nurse our baby. And if that isn't possible he is to use human milk from a breast milk bank. Under no circumstances is one of our baby's to receive formula. That is how strongly we feel about it and we feel confident that several of our friends would jump into action to feed our baby. I know I would do the same and I actually look forward to the day when I can give life-giving milk to a baby that isn't my own. I have a very good friend who pumped her milk while breastfeeding her own newborn to give to one of her friends that had trouble producing enough milk. She has a very strong connection with this other child and has even nursed him from time to time. Some feel this is gross - I think giving a baby a bottle of fake milk from a cow is gross... oh, and then there is soy formula which is just plain dangerous. Maybe I'll have to write a whole post on that someday!

So what is the percentage of women who truly can't breastfeed? Is it 80%? Because 80% is the number of babies that aren't breastfeed. The real number is closer to 3%. That's a huge difference. I don't necessarily blame mothers for not breastfeeding. I blame our society as a whole for not supporting breastfeeding. I blame big business. I blame medical doctors. I think it is every woman's duty to educate herself on the risks of formula because there are a lot of them.

To tell you the truth, when I see a picture of a baby being bottle fed it makes me sick to my stomach. I try to make myself feel better by rationalizing that it must be pumped breastmilk.

Just call me a LACTIVIST because that is what I am. I feel a huge duty to stand up for the babies of the world. I mean, that formula fed baby could be my child's husband or wife someday. And the health effects of that formula could make my child suffer. And, our mamas risk health effects from not breastfeeding too. This is a huge deal and I feel that it is taken far too lightly. It just makes me want to cry sometimes.

In conclusion, I want to acknowledge a few people. Mom, thank you for breastfeeding me in the 70's when formula was making a boom. Aaron, thank you for always supporting me as a breastfeeding mama. Thank you for also supporting women around you who do the same. Colleen, thank you for breastfeeding Aaron and allowing him to be fed by your lactating friends when you couldn't feed him. And thank you to Aaron's sisters for breastfeeding in front of me before I had children. You showed me how normal, beautiful and amazing it is to feed a baby and watch it grow due to it's life giving properties.

Here are a few other intriguing sources of information:

Books - "The Politics of Breastfeeding, When Breasts are Bad for Business" by Gabrielle Palmer and

"Milk, Money and Madness: The Culture and Politics of Breastfeeding" by Naomi Baumslag, M.D.

Shocking video: http://www.facebook.com/home.php?v=431323798054&ref=mf

"We cannot withhold facts for fear of offending because the importance of the information outweighs people's rights to not be challenged in their beliefs." Maddy Reid

Cloth Diapering is Rad

Two interlock wool pants. This is considered a diaper cover. No need for plastic covers with these and they are super cute.

Four knit wool pants or longies. Work the same as interlock. Odie wears wool pants almost everyday. And you would not believe the compliments I get on them.

These are called soakers. One is interlock wool (black) and the other is a knit Disana cover. We use these at night and Odie has NEVER leaked.

Two more examples of wool covers. Wool is an amazing diaper cover. It is naturally antimicrobial and is very absorbent. It is my favorite part of cloth diapering.

The most basic of cloth diapering - The Prefold. These are super cheap too. I just sold 20 of them for $10 on Craigslist.

Two tiny newborn cloth diapers. They even have a snap down in the front to protect the umbilical cord!

What they look like inside- and yes, that is breastmilk poop stain. Hey, they are poop catchers ya know! This is easily bleached out in the sun but first we need a nice sunny day...I'm trying to wait patiently.

These are called GoodMama's. They are amazing!

These are Sustainablebabyish (Sbish) Diapers. These are snapless and need a Snappi. These are awesome diapers too. These are available at: http://www.sloomb.com/

This diapers is made by a B'ham local. They are called Dilley Dally and they are super cute. Her diapers are available here: www.hyenacart.com/DilleyDally/

And these are amazing...they are called Fuzzi Bunz. http://www.fuzzibunzworld.com/ These are what we use the most. The ones pictured above are my least favorite color that I bought in a lot so I sold them on Craigslist so I could buy others that I liked more. That's the cool thing about cloth diapers. You can always recoup most if not all of your money.

Cloth diapering is easy. It's also fun and in my opinion it is better for the environment. I believe the numbers are somewhere around 18 billion disposables being thrown away each year and they take about 500 years to decompose... 'nough said.

Some argue that the water used to wash cloth diapers makes them just as damaging to the environment but I've done some research that shows that the amount of water used to wash diapers is close to equivalent to what a potty trained child would use if he or she were using the toilet.

Cloth is easy. Yes...EASY! There are so many options out there now and they are not just a piece of cloth and diaper pins anymore. Although - that works too. I've posted some pictures above our some of our stash and as you can see some have snaps and they are all fitted with leg gussets. I've never had a huge blow out when using cloth like I did when I used disposables. I cannot count the number of cute outfits that were ruined with breastmilk poop blowouts due to improper containment by disposable diapers.

Cloth is fun. Yup...FUN! Everytime you change a dipe you get to choose the next super cute diaper for you baby to sport. I also believe they are more comfy for little ones. No plastic or paper (or chemicals), just soft cloth kind of like undies.

I used disposables for Gavin and Brynn. So why did I change to cloth for Odie? Well, I actually tried to do cloth with Gavin but I didn't have someone to teach me how. I went down to the store, bought some cloth diapers, read the info. sheet on how to clean them and went for it. I failed miserably. I was a first time mama who due to a traumatic birth and a baby that cried A LOT I gave up. Come to find out I didn't have the proper tools or support to be successful.

When I wanted to learn about cloth when I was pregnant with Odie I had a friend come over who had successful clothed two kids. It is only due to her help that I was successful and that is why I am always willing to help others learn. I kind of feel like cloth diapering is a lost art of sorts. With mass media and advertising (another post on that someday!!!) disposables are the "norm".

I've posted some links above on where to find specific diapers but you can also find them used on Craigslist and http://www.hyenacart.com/ under "Spot's Corner". There is also a website called Diaper Swappers that I haven't really used because I find it a bit complicated.

This is a very abbreviated post as I could work on it for a month before I was done. Just know that I am always willing to teach and answer questions.

p.s. Did you like my title? I am the worst at coming up with catchy titles so I just decided to write the first thing that came to my mind. Rad is a rad word, ya know?