Visual Transmission

First, I just want to say that I'm forcing myself to sit down and finish this blog today. Life has been busy and I'm just not finding the time to sit and blog much anymore. Three kids going in different directions, constant house repairs and spending quality time with my husband have gotten in the way.
I also want to say that my "Knowing Better" blog was probably the one I worked on the most...ever. I am usually more of an "off the cuff" blogger but that one required lots of thought and facts. My following blogs will mostly be more relaxed.

Now, onto what I really want to write about!

Recently I saw a recommendation for the book "What Mothers Do, Especially When It Looks Like Nothing" by Naomi Stadlen. I thought it sounded like the perfect book for me so I checked it out at the library. I enjoyed it and I think it would have been even better to read when I was pregnant with my first or shortly after his birth. But nevertheless, it is nice to read that I am not alone in my feelings of loneliness, frustration, and pressure to return to "real work". It's not a "how to" book but rather almost a "you're normal" book. Stay at home moms often feel like they are not doing real work or are being lazy. Stadlen touches on how mothers are not valued by our culture and how we are made to feel insignificant even though we are working hard to raise our kids to be valuable members of society. I came across the following excerpt about breastfeeding and had to share it because I think as mothers, we are also teachers.

"Yet until a few decades ago there doesn't seem to have been any need for a word to explain this [she's talking about words for explaining positions and latch in breastfeeding]. The information must have been transmitted wordlessly. 'In traditional societies,' writes Jacqueline Vincent Priya, 'all mothers breastfeed and there is an assumption that every mother can and will do so. In all the places I visited, I came across no one who had been unable to breastfeed or who knew of anyone who had failed to provide enough breastmilk for their baby. For girls growing up in such a society, breastfeeding is an everyday activity which they see going on around them and so they learn the techniques unconsciously from an early age.' Young children from breastfeeding families, boys as well as girls, put dolls or soft toys to their own nipples in the way they have seen so often. This suggests that, for millennia, women must have visually transmitted this precise and subtle information very successfully from one generation to the next. The achievement is awesome."

This really spoke to me and here's why - I have breastfed for 51 months of my life now and am still nursing my youngest. I nurse wherever I am and I try not to hide myself. I'm not flashing my breasts, I'm not being offensive. But I am also not making an effort to disguise what I'm doing. I have never owned a "hooter hider" and I am actually quite annoyed that these even exist. I have, on occasion, covered myself up with a blanket when it seems appropriate but as any breastfeeding mother knows, this isn't always comfortable. Baby gets hot and sweaty and eventually begins to pull it off to see what's going on around them. And, isn't it important for baby to be able to see our faces? They can't do that when they are covered up. The thing that I have discovered that I am most comfortable doing is wearing a tank top that is easily pulled up and a button or zip front cardigan. No one can see anything, even if they were trying. So, why do we need "hooter hiders"? And, could hiding ourselves be doing damage to the next generation of mothers and fathers? I really think it could. I encourage everyone to breastfeed wherever, whenever and please don't hide. I love it when kids ask me what I'm doing. They often come and peer and are very much in awe. I am proud that I make milk. I am proud that I am teaching our future parents without even trying. I'm just doing what is natural and normal.