Knowing Better

I have something to say and it's that I am 100%, gut wrenchingly, without a doubt against genital mutilation, otherwise known as circumcision.

This wasn't always the case. My husband is circumcised and I never really gave it any thought until my second son was born in late 2008. Our first son was a victim of our ignorance...sadly and regretfully, he is circumcised. We didn't know any better at the time. We thought it was what we were supposed to do. So that he could look like his daddy, because it was cleaner and easier to care for, because if you didn't you were weird, or as one person told me, "It's gross if you don't".

When my first son was born in 2004 we didn't have great internet access to do research. I was also only 25 and none of my friends had kids at the time. I didn't have anyone to teach me or to guide me. So, if you're wondering why I care so much and why I'm posting about issues like this? It's because I wish I had had someone in my life 6 years ago that would have told me what a mistake I was about to make. Someone to tell me that all of my beliefs and feelings about circumcision were false. Someone to lead me to studies and to the knowledge I would need to make a different choice. We made a mistake and we are regretful but with all of our pain we want to make a difference for other parents and baby boys.

Here are some facts about circumcision that we find worth noting:

1) No health organization in the WORLD recommends the procedure.

2) It is the amputation of a completely normal body part, much like the amputation of a toe or maybe the outer ear.

3) There are many myths surrounding circumcision such as that it somehow helps to prevent some diseases and cancers or that it makes the penis more hygienic.

4) Circumcision is a huge money maker for the medical industry. Money that is hard to give up even though the AAP and WHO have made statements saying that there is no reason to do the procedure.

5) This procedure is highly painful for infants. Babies feel pain at a much higher level than adults. Even though anesthesia is sometimes used, it is never substantial enough to keep the infant from feeling the excruciating pain. Many medical workers or parents will claim that their baby boy slept through the procedure or was calm. This is because they enter a semi-coma state to deal with the excessive pain. After the procedure they are withdrawn and unsettled. This often interferes with sleep, breastfeeding and bonding. Circumcised baby boys often won't look in their mothers eyes after the procedure. There are studies showing that this kind of trauma in an infant can have LIFE LONG implications!

6) The foreskin has a purpose! It protects the glans (head) from abrasion (which if it is exposed causes a decrease in sensation over the years because of the formation of calluses). It also excretes essential fluids as it is a mucous membrane. It also protects the urinary tract from infection and guards against sexually transmitted diseases. The only way to protect oneself against HIV is abstinence, monogamy, barriers, no IV drug/shared needle use and sterile surgical instruments.

7) The foreskin plays a role in an adult males partner's life too. Many defensive men (and women) will say they are just fine without their foreskin. But one can also be just fine without a finger, arm, toe, etc.

8) There are many risks that go along with the procedure such as hemorrhage, infection, damage to the glans, tightness of the skin on the shaft (painful erection), scarring, and death. Circumcision has a complication rate of 1 in 500 and a death rate of 1 in 500,000. I believe the numbers are along the lines of 200-300 baby boys dying per year from the procedure. These numbers are higher in Africa.

9) Circumcision is a violation of human rights. Thus why it is called genital mutilation. It is the amputation of one's body part without their consent.

10) Just because daddy is circumcised doesn't mean baby needs to be too. One of my dear friends was counselling a couple who were expecting their first baby boy any day. The couple didn't really want to cut their son but were distressed that baby should look like his daddy. My friend brought up a good point. She said, "So, dad, if you were missing an arm, would you cut off baby's arm so he would look like you?" This was the ultimate deciding factor for this couple. Of course they wouldn't do this! Every child is unique and needs to be treated as such. If daddy really wishes to 'match' his son, he can consider restoration.

11) "The US has the highest rate of medically unnecessary, non-therapeutic infant circumcision in the world - and yet the HIV infection rate in North America is twice the rate in Europe, where circumcision rates are low." (The Truth About Circumcision and HIV by Gussie Fauntleroy).

I also should say that I understand that there are religious belief issues surrounding circumcision and it is never my intention to insult anyone's religion. I am touching on two religions, Judaism because I was attacked by someone whose partner is Jewish and they were offended by our stance on the procedure and the LDS church because my husband was raised Mormon. Many Jewish families are choosing not to do the procedure to their baby boys. Dr. Mark Reiss, a retired Jewish physician states, "Growing numbers of American Jews are now leaving their sons intact as they view circumcision as a part of Jewish law that they can no longer accept." There are many Jewish couples that are very active in their religions that now speak out against the procedure and refuse to let it happen to their children. Instead some are choosing to do a "Brit Shalom" which translates as "Covenant of Peace" instead of a "Brit Milah" which translates as "Covenant of Blood".

The LDS church has asked that circumcision be done away with. I take this excerpt from "The Book of Mormon on Circumcision" and I encourage you to read the full article. "In Moroni 8:8 of The Book of Mormon, Christ, following his death and resurrection, speaks to the people of the western hemisphere, the Nephites and Lamanites. He says, "Listen to the words of Christ, your Redeemer, your Lord and your God, I came into the world not to call the righteous but sinners to repentance; the whole need no physician, but they that are sick; wherefore, little children are whole, for they are not capable of committing sin; wherefore the curse of Adam is taken from them in me, that it hath no power over them, and the law of circumcision is done away in me."

To quote my husband, "In the Mormon faith, it is taught that the body is a temple and is not to be marked, so much so that many women in the faith refuse to pierce their ears. Why, then, would it be okay to permanently alter the body of an infant male, who was created in God's own image? Especially when there is scripture that states clearly that it is no longer a ritual of significance."

Someday we will apologize to our first born son and explain to him what was done to him and why. My deepest hope is that he forgives us for making a decision about his body that was not ours to make.

I will not stop fighting for the end of circumcision. I cannot stand by and let other misguided or misinformed parents make the same mistake we made. The pain I feel is tremendous and I am going to need therapy (yes, seriously) to overcome my feelings of remorse. If I can prevent this from happening to other sweet mamas and baby boys, I will. This is not an attack on those that have chosen to do the procedure; after all, I fall into this category. All one needs to do is to watch a circumcision video, read what it really is and how it's done, and what it does to a baby's brain. Once one does this, I highly doubt they would let it be done to their sweet child.

I am happy and proud to say that our second son is intact. When he was born we still didn't know exactly what circumcision was but we knew it didn't feel right. I am so glad we made the decision not to cut him by following our primal instincts. And now that we know the truth about circumcision, we are even more thankful that we left his body whole.

If you would like an information packet sent to you, I will gladly pay to have one sent. It contains tons of great information to read and also comes with 3 DVDs to watch. All you have to do is send me a message at inhonorofgavin@gmail.com and I will take care of it.

I mentioned www.drmomma.org earlier in this post. I encourage you to visit this site as there are many excellent articles on circumcision among other peaceful parenting ideas.

And finally, I must thank those of you who are making a difference and standing up against this horrid procedure. I wish I could do more, I wish I could reach farther. I am honored to know that so many of you feel the same and are making a difference for our baby boys, their parents and their future partners.

"When we know better, we do better." ~ Maya Angelou

Breastfeeding: Join the Boob-olution!

Here's the expanded version of the video I posted before. It's true - breastfeeding is hard work and you have to learn how to do it. Once you do, it's *so* worth it!!!

Wow!

I went on a little vacation and came back to 17 followers and many, many comments! Thank you everyone, it means a lot to me to have some readers. It also makes me nervous - I never expected more than maybe 3 or 4 followers and out of my two blogs I have never received as many comments as I did on my "Just curious" post!

I am a stay at home mom to three young kids and once upon a time I was a Registered Dental Hygienist. I struggle from day to day at my "job" of being a mom but I am also so very grateful that I am home with them. Some days I dream of going back to work and making almost 6 figures so that we can fix up our house the way we would like, travel, and buy things we like. But then someone else would be raising my kids and I would be miserable knowing I was missing it all. After all, my kids are my world. They are the reason for everything I do and I never realized how important it would be to me to stay home until my first child was born almost 6 years ago.
I am what I consider a very nice person. I have a hard time with people who are thoughtless, rude, mean, ignorant, entitled, etc. I definitely wear my heart on my sleeve. Sometimes I am grumpy...I don't know why I'm admitting this but I just am. I think it must be because occasionally it gets to me that I've given up "everything" that made me me to do what I do and now I don't have the energy to take care of myself. I'm chubby, frumpy, rarely wear makeup and am most often sporting a pony tail. Don't get me wrong - I know this is only temporary and that it's all worth it...does it get to anyone else sometimes? Am I the only one? See, it's this type of thing that I stress about admitting because I fear what people will think. I dislike the thought that people will say, "Jeez, she's so lucky to be home...why is she complaining?" I definitely feel lucky, fortunate, and blessed. Ugh, I'm going around in circles so I'll just stop.
My interests are baking and cooking. We are a gluten and dairy free family. We also don't eat much soy and my oldest son can't tolerate any citrus. I can't tolerate yeast, eggs or molasses. But, we do fine and eat VERY well. I'm pretty proud of how far we've come with our diet! I suffered for 16 years with joint pain, intestinal upset, chronic pain, headaches, depression, trigger finger, muscle pain, fatigue, etc. before I finally found out about 4 years ago that all it was was gluten and dairy. Cutting them out has made a dramatic improvement on my life, and that of my family too! Informing people about the prevalence of Celiac disease and gluten intolerance is one of my many passions. In fact, everything that I am an advocate of is something I've done "wrong" in the past and now that I know better, I don't want others to suffer the same way I have.

Here's a list of my convictions:
Gluten/dairy intolerance
Anti-MGM advocacy
Breastfeeding
Democratic party - health care for all, alternative energy sources, etc.
Out of hospital birth
Positive discipline (although I admit I am not always perfect at this - I still take a weekly class with my kids that helps me stratagize ways to handle different situations).
Cloth diapering
Non or selective vaccination
Being green and earth friendly

I don't drink, smoke or do drugs. I often try alternative treatments before western medicine. For example, I have treated 3 ear infections in my oldest son with garlic drops and never had to take him into the doctor! I prefer hip-hop music although you'd never know it by looking at me with my sweat pants and wool cardigan! I'm a home-body. I love my pajamas, slippers and a cuddly blanket. I am a sucker for t.v. I love Survivor, Big Brother, The Amazing Race, The Middle, Big Bang Theory, How I Met Your Mother, and The Office. I love reading and quiet time but I just can't ever seem to find enough of that! And lastly, I love pregnancy, birth and babies. I'm often asked if we are done having kids and I just can't answer that now. I recently got rid of almost all of our baby stuff but both my husband and I aren't sure what the future holds for our family. Maybe I'll just become a doula, birth assistant or a Midwife someday. Who knows?

I don't post as often as I'd like to but when I do find the time I will do my best to blog respectfully, informatively, and I hope that even if everyone doesn't agree with everything I write that you might find something I say empowering or educational. Or maybe it will just make you smile and laugh which would be okay too.

Hugs to you all! I know I always appreciate hugs from friends and wish for them more often. Thank you for being part of my VILLAGE!

Prevent Hospital Infections - AOL Health

Prevent Hospital Infections - AOL Health

Interesting article regarding keeping yourself safe at the hospital.

Just curious...

So as I'm wiping down my counters this morning I'm stewing a little bit over something and I finally realize what it is. So, I run over to the computer so that I can write it down before I forget.
Here it is:
Why is it that people don't ask women like myself why we choose to do things differently but instead they accuse, assume, shake their heads in disapproval or say things like, "wow, you are brave." Or they just ignore that woman or talk behind her back.
For example, why would a woman who is expecting her first baby not ask another woman who has had a few children for her input and advice? Not saying that she will choose to do things exactly the same but why not ask? Maybe it will trigger her to do some research. I wish I had asked more questions before I had Gavin. I wish I hadn't just listened to my OB because she was a doctor and therefore should know all. I was SO wrong.
I just have a really hard time hearing about women who follow their doctors advice to a T. Please question everything. Do your research...but be careful where your research comes from and how it is done.
Here are a few things to think about-
1) Homebirth is a safe alternative to birthing in a hospital especially if you are healthy, educated on the process of normal birth and you have faith in your body to do it's job. Birth centers are also a great option. Ina May Gaskin has written some amazing books. My wish is that every pregnant woman would read her book titled "Ina May's Guide to Childbirth." Yup, it has some "interesting" verbage in it but Aaron and I got a good chuckle out of it.
2) Circumcision is not recommended by ANY health organization in the WORLD! There is no reason to do it but there are *many* reasons not to do it. www.DrMomma.org has a ton of info. about it. I am speaking from experience here with one son cut and the other intact. And I am dealing with huge regret and remorse issues. I realize this is a touchy subject because we are talking about penises and because there are religious issues behind it. Aaron and I have done some looking into the religious issues such as the LDS beliefs (since Aaron was raised LDS) and the Jewish issues. Interestingly enough, the LDS church has asked circumcision to be done away with. Someday soon I will write a post on just this issue.
3) Breast is best. Formula is not. It is big business. Shame on hospitals, OB's, pediatricians, etc. who don't support women more in their efforts to breastfeed.
4) Question vaccines. Do some research. Don't feel like you have to follow societal "norms".
5) Follow your mama or daddy gut. Just because your best friend or neighbor does something one way doesn't mean you have to too.
6) Question labor induction. Be careful with this one. Induction is one of the main reasons for c-sections.
7) Doula's are a laboring woman's best friend. I believe they are necessary. Maybe I'll have to post on this too!
8) Disposable diapers are garbage.

Sorry to rant but sometimes I just have to get it out. I just wish women would talk to other women before they make huge decisions. Let's not get so defensive either. I've made many mistakes and I am willing to admit it. It takes a village, right? Then why don't we use that village?

Nursing Our Future

Super Informative Article Regarding Medical Births

As many of my readers know, I had two medical hospital births before I realized my severe dissatisfaction with what was done to me and my children before, during, and after their births. This prompted me to do my research and ultimately have a natural, safe, amazing homebirth for my third child. The purpose of this article is to empower women to ask questions before they say okay to "routine" medical interventions which could set them up for "failure". Many doctors and people say that the only thing that matters is a healthy baby. That may be true for some women but for many it is also about the journey. I speak from my own experiences when I say that my homebirth was THE MOST fulfilling, amazing, beautiful, empowering, and happiest thing I've EVER done in my life. It changed me. It made me a better person and mother. It filled me up and I am still full. I cannot say that about my hospital births...in fact I try not to think about them.

Here is the introduction to the article I am posting the link to:
"In our culture, there has been a tendency to turn pregnancy and childbirth into medical experience. One intervention can lead to another in a cascading sequence of questionable procedures, many made necessary only because of a previous intervention.
We are indeed lucky to live in a time when medical aids to labor and delivery exist, but medical interventions such as labor induction, pain relief, and cesareans-measures that have saved many lives-have been overused.
It can be helpful to get familiar with many of the tests and interventions associated with childbirth in order to know when they are warranted and when they should be avoided."

www.mothering.com/pregnancy-birth/avoiding-cascade-medical-interventions#