As many of my readers know, I had two medical hospital births before I realized my severe dissatisfaction with what was done to me and my children before, during, and after their births. This prompted me to do my research and ultimately have a natural, safe, amazing homebirth for my third child. The purpose of this article is to empower women to ask questions before they say okay to "routine" medical interventions which could set them up for "failure". Many doctors and people say that the only thing that matters is a healthy baby. That may be true for some women but for many it is also about the journey. I speak from my own experiences when I say that my homebirth was THE MOST fulfilling, amazing, beautiful, empowering, and happiest thing I've EVER done in my life. It changed me. It made me a better person and mother. It filled me up and I am still full. I cannot say that about my hospital births...in fact I try not to think about them.
Here is the introduction to the article I am posting the link to:
"In our culture, there has been a tendency to turn pregnancy and childbirth into medical experience. One intervention can lead to another in a cascading sequence of questionable procedures, many made necessary only because of a previous intervention.
We are indeed lucky to live in a time when medical aids to labor and delivery exist, but medical interventions such as labor induction, pain relief, and cesareans-measures that have saved many lives-have been overused.
It can be helpful to get familiar with many of the tests and interventions associated with childbirth in order to know when they are warranted and when they should be avoided."
www.mothering.com/pregnancy-birth/avoiding-cascade-medical-interventions#
Monday, August 9, 2010
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Saweeeet deal!
I know what some people think about stay at home moms. I know because I've heard it a million times (okay, maybe not a million but you know what I mean). Wow, what a saweeeet (why doesn't spell check like this spelling of sweet?) deal. Stay in your p.j.'s until you "feel" like getting dressed. Hang out on the couch, watch some t.v., eat and drink whatever, whenever. Take walks, go fun places, watch your amazing kids blossom. Work out whenever (just strap those kiddos in a stroller and GO!), the house should be perfectly clean - I mean, since I'm home all day I should have plenty of time to get all the dishes, laundry, vacuuming, sweeping, folding, pick up the toys, etc. And, on top of that my teeth should always be brushed, make-up on, clothes (or p.j.'s) fresh, eyebrows plucked, hair done...
NOPE. NADA. NONE OF THE ABOVE.
Here's a typical day for me. I know I'm preaching to the choir but just humor me.
4:50 AM - alarm goes off for Aaron to get up and go to work. I'm already awake, nursing Odie. Trying to keep him quiet so Aaron could sleep until his alarm and so that G and B aren't woken up prematurely. Odie usually gets up with Aaron. They wave goodbye as I snuggle back under the covers to sleep until Aaron wakes me when he's leaving. I put in my ear plugs because my kids are LOUD. G and B wake up soon after Aaron goes downstairs.
I get the best sleep of my night until 6:00 AM - I have the bed to myself. I fling my legs across the whole width of the bed. I pull the covers over my ears. I smash my face into my pillow and I sleep. Deep sleep. No one to listen for. No one demanding milk.
I wander downstairs and pour myself my first cup of coffee. I love my coffee. I sit down on the couch. Gavin and Brynn have already asked me 5 times where we are going today or who is coming over today. Odie has been crying since he saw me come down. He follows me to the couch and signs milk...or just yells until I pick him up and give him what he wants. Aaron is leaving for the day. The kids wave at the window. While they are at it they smear their faces and dirty b'fast hands all over it. No wonder my windows look so terrible. And guess what? They never get cleaned. I never have time. G and B scream at each other, "No I waved first." "No, I did." Then they scream at me about who is teasing who. I cringe. I just want to go back to bed.
Before 8 AM I try to have the dishwasher unloaded and loaded and running. I have a load of laundry going. I attempt to wipe down the table and maybe sweep under it if I can. But most of the time I can't because Odie or Gavin or Brynn is yelling at me or at each other. We do not turn on the t.v. I do not believe in it. Okay, I do sometimes but only when I'm desperate. Like when company is coming and I might die of embarrassment with the way the house looks if I don't do something about it.
By 8 the kids have had it. They are begging to go outside. I say fine and we head out. One of them has to run back in within 5 minutes to go to the bathroom. They track dirt all over the house. Not necessarily from their feet - sometimes from their bodies or hair. Seriously. Then Odie needs his diaper changed. I beg the kids to please stay in the yard while I run in. I can do it in 30 seconds (unless it's messy). Within those 30 seconds they both disappear. I find them in the neighbors garage talking to her son-in-law who is a drug and alcohol addict. They love this guy. Gavin loves everybody. I drag them back into OUR yard. I'm mad. Can't they just do what I ask one time? I guess I'm asking too much. We "play" for the next 3 hours. "Play" meaning they fight, scream, pester, beat each other up, beg me for food, beg me to go to the neighbors yard, beg me to get something out of the garage, or turn on the sprinklers. And can I get them some food. How about an apple, scone, grapes, pretzels, popsicle, sandwich, pad thai, chili with fritos? Seriously. I'm exhausted by lunch. I make their meals, pleading that they stay out of the kitchen so my elbows don't hit their heads...yes, Gavin is the perfect height for that. I'm constantly bonking him in the head. He's already losing his two front teeth prematurely due to an unfortunate interaction with the coffee table. Plus I just want some space. Again, too much to ask.
If I'm lucky, Odie will take a nice long nap after lunch. I realize I forgot to brush my teeth and hair that morning. I attempt it. Gavin and Brynn follow me into the bathroom because apparently I'm not allowed in there alone. They fight some more. Gavin uses the toilet and uses half the roll of toilet paper. The toilet almost clogs. A tree has been wasted. I ask him if I haven't told him 1,000 times not to do that. He says he knows. Really? Then why?
Most of the time I don't get the errands I need to do done. Or I end up missing a playdate I really wanted to go to (like one last week). Someone ends up - sick, sleeping, cranky-pants. Sometimes I'm just too tired. Sometimes I don't have anything to wear or am exhausted about the thought of putting myself together enough to go out.
By the time Aaron gets home I am having visions of hopping in the car and going somewhere...anywhere. I just want to get out, away from the noise and demands. But, I don't. I stay and cook dinner. When the weather is nice I sometimes get some peace and quiet if Aaron can take them outside. I cook in my messy kitchen. I never got around to cleaning the counters and there are a million dishes all over the place from lunch and the countless snacks/drinks given throughout the day. I do my best. At dinner they complain. They don't like what's for dinner unless it's pad thai or chili. Brynn doesn't like anything but breakfast foods so she never eats dinner. I eat as fast as I can so I can get up and start unloading the dishwasher so I can load it up again. The kids take forever to finish. Usually they hardly eat anything. We make an agreement-If they get down from the table they are done. No more food tonight...even when they cry for food in a half hour. They say okay and are off. I try to clean. By now my feet hurt and I just want to sit down. Maybe read a nice book or catch up on one of my shows. Nope, I keep busy cleaning but never seem to get anything done. I'm one of the messiest people in the house. I can't do anything without making a mess. I attribute it to the fact that I'm always in such a hurry I can't help but make a mess. I don't know...it frustrates me.
Then it's time for p.j.'s. They are usually pretty good about getting them on. Usually. Teeth get brushed. Odie screams bloody murder. I'm surprised the neighbors haven't called CPS yet. Gavin and Brynn understand now how important it is. But they still like to rub Aaron's face while he does it. Aaron loves that...
Then they are hungry. "I'm sorry, the kitchen is closed. You have another chance tomorrow to eat your dinner so that you aren't hungry." The screaming and crying begins. Enough. Read books and to bed. Usually. Sometimes, like tonight, both boys cried and cried and cried. 8:00 and they are asleep. I'm ready to sit down and do nothing. Usually I do. Aaron can typically keep going for an hour or so. I can't.
I never get to work out anymore. I never get to shop. I rarely get my hair done. I shower at night and my hair looks funny in the morning. I eat too much, too. I have become the frumpy stay at home I never wanted to be. But, there is a silver lining to all of this - my kids are happy. Aaron and I love each other. The kids don't have to go to daycare. I have know that I'll always be here for them when they come home from school and need to talk. If they are sick, I will be here to take care of them. I get to watch so many good things happen during the day that make it all worth while. I'm trying my hardest to let them be kids and only to expect age appropriate things from them. For instance - Odie screams all of the time. But he also doesn't have any other real way to communicate. His only words are mama, dada, poo poo, kitty (and doggy but they all sound the same), and he is just starting to say swing and sing (these two sound the same too). He has to stand up for himself somehow when a toy is taken from him. I know he'll outgrow it so I don't freak out about it. I also know that someday I'll sleep through the night again. It is hard to remember that sometimes when Odie is still up 2 to 3 times a night to nurse. I wouldn't trade what I do for a job that pays a million a year...well, unless Aaron wanted to stay home which I'm sure he would love. But you get my point. I am so thankful for all of our blessings. Family is what it is all about and I am lucky that Aaron and I both feel the same about it. Thank you Aaron!
So, I'm off to wash diapers and hang them out in the sun to dry. Another day, another diaper! And I love it...
NOPE. NADA. NONE OF THE ABOVE.
Here's a typical day for me. I know I'm preaching to the choir but just humor me.
4:50 AM - alarm goes off for Aaron to get up and go to work. I'm already awake, nursing Odie. Trying to keep him quiet so Aaron could sleep until his alarm and so that G and B aren't woken up prematurely. Odie usually gets up with Aaron. They wave goodbye as I snuggle back under the covers to sleep until Aaron wakes me when he's leaving. I put in my ear plugs because my kids are LOUD. G and B wake up soon after Aaron goes downstairs.
I get the best sleep of my night until 6:00 AM - I have the bed to myself. I fling my legs across the whole width of the bed. I pull the covers over my ears. I smash my face into my pillow and I sleep. Deep sleep. No one to listen for. No one demanding milk.
I wander downstairs and pour myself my first cup of coffee. I love my coffee. I sit down on the couch. Gavin and Brynn have already asked me 5 times where we are going today or who is coming over today. Odie has been crying since he saw me come down. He follows me to the couch and signs milk...or just yells until I pick him up and give him what he wants. Aaron is leaving for the day. The kids wave at the window. While they are at it they smear their faces and dirty b'fast hands all over it. No wonder my windows look so terrible. And guess what? They never get cleaned. I never have time. G and B scream at each other, "No I waved first." "No, I did." Then they scream at me about who is teasing who. I cringe. I just want to go back to bed.
Before 8 AM I try to have the dishwasher unloaded and loaded and running. I have a load of laundry going. I attempt to wipe down the table and maybe sweep under it if I can. But most of the time I can't because Odie or Gavin or Brynn is yelling at me or at each other. We do not turn on the t.v. I do not believe in it. Okay, I do sometimes but only when I'm desperate. Like when company is coming and I might die of embarrassment with the way the house looks if I don't do something about it.
By 8 the kids have had it. They are begging to go outside. I say fine and we head out. One of them has to run back in within 5 minutes to go to the bathroom. They track dirt all over the house. Not necessarily from their feet - sometimes from their bodies or hair. Seriously. Then Odie needs his diaper changed. I beg the kids to please stay in the yard while I run in. I can do it in 30 seconds (unless it's messy). Within those 30 seconds they both disappear. I find them in the neighbors garage talking to her son-in-law who is a drug and alcohol addict. They love this guy. Gavin loves everybody. I drag them back into OUR yard. I'm mad. Can't they just do what I ask one time? I guess I'm asking too much. We "play" for the next 3 hours. "Play" meaning they fight, scream, pester, beat each other up, beg me for food, beg me to go to the neighbors yard, beg me to get something out of the garage, or turn on the sprinklers. And can I get them some food. How about an apple, scone, grapes, pretzels, popsicle, sandwich, pad thai, chili with fritos? Seriously. I'm exhausted by lunch. I make their meals, pleading that they stay out of the kitchen so my elbows don't hit their heads...yes, Gavin is the perfect height for that. I'm constantly bonking him in the head. He's already losing his two front teeth prematurely due to an unfortunate interaction with the coffee table. Plus I just want some space. Again, too much to ask.
If I'm lucky, Odie will take a nice long nap after lunch. I realize I forgot to brush my teeth and hair that morning. I attempt it. Gavin and Brynn follow me into the bathroom because apparently I'm not allowed in there alone. They fight some more. Gavin uses the toilet and uses half the roll of toilet paper. The toilet almost clogs. A tree has been wasted. I ask him if I haven't told him 1,000 times not to do that. He says he knows. Really? Then why?
Most of the time I don't get the errands I need to do done. Or I end up missing a playdate I really wanted to go to (like one last week). Someone ends up - sick, sleeping, cranky-pants. Sometimes I'm just too tired. Sometimes I don't have anything to wear or am exhausted about the thought of putting myself together enough to go out.
By the time Aaron gets home I am having visions of hopping in the car and going somewhere...anywhere. I just want to get out, away from the noise and demands. But, I don't. I stay and cook dinner. When the weather is nice I sometimes get some peace and quiet if Aaron can take them outside. I cook in my messy kitchen. I never got around to cleaning the counters and there are a million dishes all over the place from lunch and the countless snacks/drinks given throughout the day. I do my best. At dinner they complain. They don't like what's for dinner unless it's pad thai or chili. Brynn doesn't like anything but breakfast foods so she never eats dinner. I eat as fast as I can so I can get up and start unloading the dishwasher so I can load it up again. The kids take forever to finish. Usually they hardly eat anything. We make an agreement-If they get down from the table they are done. No more food tonight...even when they cry for food in a half hour. They say okay and are off. I try to clean. By now my feet hurt and I just want to sit down. Maybe read a nice book or catch up on one of my shows. Nope, I keep busy cleaning but never seem to get anything done. I'm one of the messiest people in the house. I can't do anything without making a mess. I attribute it to the fact that I'm always in such a hurry I can't help but make a mess. I don't know...it frustrates me.
Then it's time for p.j.'s. They are usually pretty good about getting them on. Usually. Teeth get brushed. Odie screams bloody murder. I'm surprised the neighbors haven't called CPS yet. Gavin and Brynn understand now how important it is. But they still like to rub Aaron's face while he does it. Aaron loves that...
Then they are hungry. "I'm sorry, the kitchen is closed. You have another chance tomorrow to eat your dinner so that you aren't hungry." The screaming and crying begins. Enough. Read books and to bed. Usually. Sometimes, like tonight, both boys cried and cried and cried. 8:00 and they are asleep. I'm ready to sit down and do nothing. Usually I do. Aaron can typically keep going for an hour or so. I can't.
I never get to work out anymore. I never get to shop. I rarely get my hair done. I shower at night and my hair looks funny in the morning. I eat too much, too. I have become the frumpy stay at home I never wanted to be. But, there is a silver lining to all of this - my kids are happy. Aaron and I love each other. The kids don't have to go to daycare. I have know that I'll always be here for them when they come home from school and need to talk. If they are sick, I will be here to take care of them. I get to watch so many good things happen during the day that make it all worth while. I'm trying my hardest to let them be kids and only to expect age appropriate things from them. For instance - Odie screams all of the time. But he also doesn't have any other real way to communicate. His only words are mama, dada, poo poo, kitty (and doggy but they all sound the same), and he is just starting to say swing and sing (these two sound the same too). He has to stand up for himself somehow when a toy is taken from him. I know he'll outgrow it so I don't freak out about it. I also know that someday I'll sleep through the night again. It is hard to remember that sometimes when Odie is still up 2 to 3 times a night to nurse. I wouldn't trade what I do for a job that pays a million a year...well, unless Aaron wanted to stay home which I'm sure he would love. But you get my point. I am so thankful for all of our blessings. Family is what it is all about and I am lucky that Aaron and I both feel the same about it. Thank you Aaron!
So, I'm off to wash diapers and hang them out in the sun to dry. Another day, another diaper! And I love it...
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Thursday, July 1, 2010
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